Of my many injuries, the stupidest was from elementary school.
During “Olympic Day,” I decided to run the hurdles in reverse - running backwards, and from the end to the start. It worked okay for a while, except I forgot that hurdles are designed to only tip in one direction (forwards). I hit one hurdle, it held firm, and the corner tore into the inside of my calf, taking out a good size chunk in the process.
Probably not as dumb as my grandfather losing a finger in a “bicycle pump incident.”
Don’t be down. I miss my British Bulldog days, but jogging can be fun too.
Is “British Bulldog” an insensitive game name? I don’t know where the name came from but we used to play it in Boy Scouts.
I don’t take offence at the name, unlike ‘Honkey Tennis’. We used to play it all the time (British Bulldog), it’s a pretty cool game when you’re about 8 years old.
We used to play it all the time (British Bulldog), it’s a pretty cool game when you’re about 8 years old.
It’s a good one for injury stories too. My brother almost broke his back. But until about age sixteen, a kid is flexible enough to absorb almost anything. At age 31 now, I’d love to play it, and would probably regret it severely afterwards.
I once had a slightly jagged toe nail rubbing against my big toe. I had get the nail clippers out as a result. I suffered great discomfort trimming the nail because it was thick and hard.
I also used my dad’s open bladed razor when I was 8 to ‘have a shave’. I nicked my chin and it bled. I did not need stitches but it left a small scar that is ample proof of my manlyness.
Broken ankle skatebaording - of course after yelling “LAST RUN!!”
Broken thumb skateboarding
Class B dislocated shoulder while playing volleyball - My buddy jumped up to spike the ball and fell in the sand, I kicked sand in his face, he got up, chased me, and bulldogged me down. When I landed I heard a nice “pop”, got up and my shoulder was dangling off my body. That was the worst and the most painful.
I got nine stiches on my pointer finger on my left hand when I younger while wood carving. I was an idiot and was carving towards myself. When the doctor saw it he said, “Boy, you really fileted that thing didn’t ya?”
Since playing football errrrrrrrrrrrr soccer, my ankles and legs have been put through hell. So many severe sprains, charlie horses, and brusies to start my own hospital ward. Of course while in high school I was playing soccer in a co-ed game at soccer camp and went around this pretty girl only to have her dig in knee into my thigh. Since I was basically running at her in a sprint, she hit me so hard, I ended up having calcium deposits in my leg and had to go to physical therapy for it.
Perhaps the funniest was when I was a couple of years ago while at a bar in the Mall of America. Very drunk and the bar closes and the security runts are herding us out, so my buddy and I decide to take an escalator to the lower level parking ramp. Well, being super cool dudes, we had to go down the escalator the WRONG way to impress the girls we were with. So at the very bottom I try and pull the “parallel bars” routine where you grab the rails and launch your body with your momentum. Being heavily intoxicated, and stupid, I didn’t realize that of course the stairs AND the rails are moving AWAY from the bottom of the escalator. I landed a bit short and my ankle just folded underneath me. With the security guard watching, I just walked away like it was nothing. By the time I got to the car, I could barely walk and my ankle was VERY swollen. I went in for x-rays and thank god it wasn’t broken, but it was another severe sprain and the doc gave me crutches to use for the next couple of weeks and some great painkillers in the meantime.
All in all, I would say most of the injuries I have sustained have been the direct result of screwing around with my buddies, or trying to show off. Or a combination of being drunk and screwing around.
Never broken a bone. In all of the times I’ve sliced myself (cleaning flash on models, etc.) I’ve never needed stiches that I can remember.
However, I have very loose tendons on my patella (kneecap). I can lift my kneecaps up by hand several millimeters and wiggle them around. Really freaks people out. Problem is any real lateral stress on them (skiing is a nono, running is fine) and they dislocate. Extremely painful. And, for some reason, many doctors appear to not know how to reset it. It’s almost amusing when I’m laying there explaining how to them, teeth gritted, in between groaning, and they keep telling me “That can’t be right”.
Class B dislocated shoulder while playing volleyball - My buddy jumped up to spike the ball and fell in the sand, I kicked sand in his face, he got up, chased me, and bulldogged me down. When I landed I heard a nice “pop”, got up and my shoulder was dangling off my body. That was the worst and the most painful.
I dislocated my shoulder. Words cannot explain how painful it is, it was 10 times worse than a compound fracture.
And it hurt for months afterwards, and it still aches from time to time now.
I am glad you agreed it hurt, I thought it was just me being a soft arse.
About 8 years ago I flipped a car onto it’s roof in peak hour traffic. I was hit by another car on a bizarre angle, on a rise, and the car I was in was one of those really tall ones. I had my seatbelt on and so I was fine, but my knees smashed together. Since then I get pain where they smashed - especially some positions in bed !
I once fell off the top of the space station at Space Camp. I fell about 30 feet through holes in two levels of the platform. I hit my ribs going through the second hole and bruised them. I might have cracked them but I don’t think so. I hit my shin and have permanent dents in it. I got the wind knocked out of me, I think I was also knocked out because the paramedics seemed to get there really fast. I was strapped to a backboard and taken to the ER where I took a nap because the doctor forgot I was there. I was bruised up pretty good, but basically fine. The sympathy I got from the girls at camp more than made up for it :)
Class B dislocated shoulder while playing volleyball - My buddy jumped up to spike the ball and fell in the sand, I kicked sand in his face, he got up, chased me, and bulldogged me down. When I landed I heard a nice “pop”, got up and my shoulder was dangling off my body. That was the worst and the most painful.
I dislocated my shoulder. Words cannot explain how painful it is, it was 10 times worse than a compound fracture.
And it hurt for months afterwards, and it still aches from time to time now.
I am glad you agreed it hurt, I thought it was just me being a soft arse.
I’m glad you sympathize. My roomates were twats and laughed at me. I had to sleep on my back for two months (which I hated) and everytime I moved I got this intense shooting pain through my neck which usually made my eyes water. It was the worst two months of my life.
The funny thing is one of my roomates who was laughing at me and kidding around got his own dose of karma the following year. During a football match, we had a corner kick and he went up to head the ball and a guy on the other team went up also. The other guy’s head slammed into his collarbone. They both fell down and when he got up you could see his shoulder was dislocated. He took two steps and passed out cold. Turns out the had a TRIPLE BREAK SEPARATION!!!! His nightmare was far worse than mine - that’s for sure.
Not exactly painful. But once when I was about 12, I started running down a flight of stairs in my house carrying a full glass of milk heading for the basement. This is a straight staircase of probably 25-30 stairs. I slipped off of a step towards the top, my feet went out from under me. Somehow I arrived at the bottom of the stairs head first, unhurt, and I hadn’t spilled a drop of milk.
Speaking of injuries to friends, I knew a guy at school (WARNING - Those of a nervous disposition stop reading now) who fell off a roof, on the way down he encountered a protruding nail, which proceeded to tear through his pants and rip his scrotum open. I’d imagine that would be fairly painful. Apparently when he got to the hospital his testes were hanging out of the sack.
OUCH.
eurethragram....x-ray to reveal any problems with your eurethra....believe me when i say that a peice of wood in my mouth to fight the pain would have been as resistant as a slab of butter. Tears to the eyes where the pleasant part
Shower curtain rod pullups <9 yrs old ,knocked unconcious
Punctured leg 1 inch on sharp rock in Boundary waters at 15yrs, luckily we were going back that day. I did a 1.5 mile portage with a 16 ft canoe and the wound was flushed several times with a hypodermic then pressed on to bleed out. I bit through 2 popsicle sticks together by the end of that treatment but no infection. He did an excellent job.
I fell x-country skiing on a crusty snow day and dislocated my thumb. I took my mitten off and my thumb looked like a lightning bolt and felt really tight. My friend asked if I was ok and I grabbed my thumb and jerked it back into place. I put my mitten on and finished ther rest of the trail (about in the middle of 11K) ending with a thumb that barely moved. I had to see a dr because I chipped the bone also.
29 years on a Sunday: 7 100lb landscape ties fell on my right foot pulverized little toe and nearly ripped it off. They stitched it back together between the 2 toes and taped them together with a splint. Friday of that week the stitches came out and I custom fitted a tennis shoe for my foot that was weatherproof. Saturday we left for Rapid City, South Dakota on my motorcycle (about 840 miles)
but only made it to just over the border into South Dakota. My foot was very colorful the next day by the time we made it to Rapid City.
All the rest were caused by other things or people or animals
2 surgeries on big toe
6 broken ribs
crushed shoulder blade
bruised kidney
hematoma on left leg
hyperextended knee
7 stitches to head from baseball bat (sports related, not gang)
Hypothermia
Why do I feel like Tim the Tool Man?
I used to live in Rapid City when I was a young(er) lad.
I was playing a game in my friends driveway barefoot years ago when I slipped and scraped about half the skin off my little toe. Still have the scar.
Broke my left arm twice, wasnt set correctly the second time. Lost alot of rotation in my lower arm.
I burned a chunk of skin off my left wrist when I bumped into a pressure cooker. Could have layed a 50 cent peice flat in the area that got burnt off. Still have the scar.
I can only think of the pain I have reminders of so I guess thats it. Bunch of minor burns across both hands, but those are barely worth mentioning.
My broken bones are all kinda weird stories. The first broken wrist was among the funnier ones. When I was like 19 or 20 I worked at Avis Rent-a-Car in LAX shuttling cars back forth between the service center and the terminals. At the service center they had one of those “tunnel” type of car washes, where you put the car in neutral and the rollers and chains push the car through. On holiday weekends the cars were coming in faster than we could service ‘em. On this day I’m “catching” cars coming out of the wash. I had to jump in the car as it’s being pushed out and still moving, and then drive it to the ready-lines to park it for shuttling out to the gigantic lot, and then run from that parked car back to the exit of the wash and catch the next one. Well, some of the guys on the vacuums, the ones who put the cars in the wash, thought it would be a hoot to muster all the farts they could, let loose inside the car, and turn the heater on full blast for that oh-so-special “cooked fart” aroma. Did I mention it was a normal LA day, hovering around 90 degrees? That was bad, but then someone got the bright idea of turning the car wash speed up as far as it would go, giving me like 30 less seconds to get back from parking. I kept up for three or four cars before getting winded, was running back and had to turn a corner around the back of the wash tunnel, slipped on the wet, soapy concrete, and went down like a ton of bricks on my stomach with my right wrist between me and the ground. Basically, I “punched” myself in the gut, but the ground busted three of those tiny wrist-bones that hurt like the dickens.
I busted my left arm while arm-wrestling once. The worst of my broken bones in fact. And this is the God’s honest truth, I had my bud Cosmic Roger almost beat and put one last oompf to take the match when the big bone of the upper arm gave way. Broke it completely in two. A spiral fracture with both ends looking just like a corkscrew in the X-rays, caused by the torque and twisting motion. The break was so bad that they had to call in an orthopedist to set the cast. I’m chillin’ on the emergency room hospital bed when he comes in and looks at the X-rays. He said, “How’d you this??” and I answered, “Arm-wrestling.” He said he’d like to meet the “monster” who caused this bad of a break and I told him it was Cosmic Roger and he’s right outside in the waiting room, where he went and took a gander at 3 or 4 of my friends who had driven me there, all of ‘em drunk and high as a kite and making noise and carrying on. The doc says, “Which one of you is Cosmic Roger?” This skinny little 20-something hippy with hair literally down to his ass raises his hand and says, “That’d be me! Want to arm-wrestle for a case of beer?” Maybe ya had to be there, but it was funny as Hell.
We moved into our house on Sept. 8, 2001. I was breaking down boxes and taking them out to the garage. You go through a little laundry room and take one step down to get in there. I was wearing my flip-flops and didn’t know that step was a little loose, and when it moved under my weight, my flipper on my left foot slid down toes first into the concrete. That’s when I broke my big toe. Then my upper body continued to fall and I tried to break it with my arms extended in front of me. Hit the concrete with both hands and busted both wrists, and jammed my left lower arm bones into the socket of the top bone, busting one of the forearm bones, as well as the upper bone. That was on a Saturday, and the following Tuesday I’m kickin’ back on the couch in a Demerol haze when the channel I was watching broke in live to the first tower on fire. Within about 5 minutes, the second plane hit on live TV. Wasn’t a good day for me, or anyone in America or the free world I would imagine, but just like the Kennedy assassination, I’ll always remember exactly where I was when the shit hit the fan.
I lived there between the ages of 4-9. Im 19 now, almost 20 so it was a long while ago but my first memories are there. My dad worked at Ellsworth but we lived in an Air Force only subdivision about 20 or so minutes away from the base. Gonna head back there in a year or two just to see if its like I remember.
