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Hillary Clinton: The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend of the Democratic Party

Despite all the math counting her out, Hillary Clinton fervently remains in the race to become the Democratic nominee for president in 2008. She has become the Democratic Party’s psycho ex-girlfriend, and she’s not going away without a restraining order.

It’s 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees “Hillary” on the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing “END” and not dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the Democratic Party knows that if it doesn’t take this call, another one is only minutes away.

DEMS: ...Hello?

Hillary: Hey baby.

DEMS: C’mon Hillary. Enough with this.

Hillary: Don’t you get it? You NEED me.

DEMS: No, I don’t. It was fun while it lasted but I’m with Barack now. I made my choice, it’s done.

Hillary: You can’t really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?

DEMS: To be honest, I started hanging out with you because Bill’s pretty awesome.

Hillary: But I’m just like Bill!

DEMS: No, you’re not. Bill is charismatic, inspiring, and gets me really good weed.

Hillary: Fuck you. You’re elitist!

DEMS: I’m going back to sleep.

Hillary: No, no, wait. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Listen… there’s still got to be a chance. Remember when people told George W it was all over. When the numbers were against him?

DEMS: Yeah but…

Hillary: Remember?! And remember how everyone said America didn’t really want to be with George W? But they stuck it out anyway?

DEMS: Yeah and they’re really fucked up now, Hillary.

Hillary: But WE’LL make it work. Forget Barack, baby. Just take me back and we can forget this ever happened.

DEMS: Look, I think you’re a really good Senator… let’s just keep it that way, OK?

Hillary: ...I’ll see you at the convention.

DEMS: No! Hillary I told you…

CLICK

DEMS: Dammit. Crazy bitch.

Saw this yesterday and thought it was pretty good.

I think at this point Hil is just looking for a exit. She doesn’t want to “quit” and would rather be “beaten”
I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s wishing the super delegates would just count her out of it quickly so she doesn’t have to waste any more of her money.
Unless she keeps going with the negative campaigning of course, then I’ll be inclined to think she’s trying to hurt Obama even though she knows she can’t win, with a view to helping him lose in Novemeber and give her a shot in 2012.
I wouldn’t put that past the Clintons but I’m not ready to believe that’s what they’re up to just yet.

The Dems’ pat, if predicatably lame, revisionism regarding Hillary Clinton is hilarious. And typical. As is most Dems’ pat amnesia.

“Stupid-ass Rethuglicans making such a stink over this Monica Lewinsky non-scandal.” Its all a vast-right wing conspiracy, as usual”

Is it conceivable that a single Dem could today choose to remember the term ‘’vast right-wing conspiracy’’ and its context? And how the Dems immediately applied it to everything else after it was uttered by Hillary? 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17593375/

Clinton was first lady when she famously charged allegations of an affair between her then-president husband Bill Clinton and White House intern Monica Lewinsky were the result of a conservative conspiracy.

As evidence of the affair eventually came to light, the comment was ridiculed. But many Democrats have since insisted that Clinton was correct, pointing to the well-documented efforts by conservative financier Richard Mellon Scaife to fund a network of anti-Clinton investigations.

“I’d do Hillary. The Clintons are progressives. Swingers.”

The Dems’ pat, if predicatably lame, revisionism regarding Hillary Clinton is hilarious. And typical. As is most Dems’ pat amnesia.

“Stupid-ass Rethuglicans making such a stink over this Monica Lewinsky non-scandal.” Its all a vast-right wing conspiracy, as usual”

Is it conceivable that a single Dem could today choose to remember the term ‘’vast right-wing conspiracy’’ and its context? And how the Dems immediately applied it to everything else after it was uttered by Hillary? 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17593375/

Clinton was first lady when she famously charged allegations of an affair between her then-president husband Bill Clinton and White House intern Monica Lewinsky were the result of a conservative conspiracy.

As evidence of the affair eventually came to light, the comment was ridiculed. But many Democrats have since insisted that Clinton was correct, pointing to the well-documented efforts by conservative financier Richard Mellon Scaife to fund a network of anti-Clinton investigations.

“I’d do Hillary. The Clintons are progressives. Swingers.”

Lets rationalize right quick, shall we:

March. 13, 2007

“People think we’re paranoid when we talk about the vast right-wing conspiracy, but there is a real connection of these groups—the same names keep popping up,” said Sullivan. ”They are the most disgusting group of political thugs that I have ever seen.”

until Hillary decided to run for office.

Ah ,well, high time for the Hitler tie-in.

April 18, 2008

We don’t know for a fact whether Bill and Hillary Clinton exchanged pleasantries with Riefenstahl when all three attended Time magazine’s 75th anniversary bash back in 1998. If I had to guess, I’d say that Clinton’s White House advisers made damn sure there was no chance the first couple could be photographed anywhere near Hitler’s favorite documentary filmmaker. But at the very least, the Clintons and Riefenstahl inhabited simultaneously the same venue—New York’s Radio City Music Hall, where the party was held. That’s good enough for me.