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Channeling Michael Moore (poorly)

I’m going to make an observation that may surprise some of you. Compared to Michael Moore’s speech at that Oscars two years ago, Chris Rock’s comments last night about Iraq sounded, well, stupid.

You all remember, Moore’s acceptance speech I’m sure;

Whoa. On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and Michael Donovan from Canada, I’d like to thank the Academy for this. I have invited my fellow documentary nominees on the stage with us, and we would like to — they’re here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction. We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it’s the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up. Thank you very much.

Well, this year, Rock tried to say the same thing but ( and I know this sounds impossible) he actually found a way to comment on the war that made Moore’s little rant sound intelligent by comparison.

Rock, in the middle of his schtick, threw in this nugget to the “I-wish-Moore-was-on-the-stage-because-he-would-really-stick-it-to-Bush” crowd;

“Bush did some things you could never get away with at your job, man. ... Just imagine you worked at the Gap. You’re $70 trillion behind on your register and then you start a war with Banana Republic ‘cause you say they got toxic tank tops over there. You have the war, people are dying, a thousand Gap employees are dead, bleeding all over the khakis, you finally take over Banana Republic, and you find out they never made tank tops in the first place.”

There are so many things wrong with this analogy, I don’t know where to start. Needless to say, I’m adding another name to the list of Hollywood moonbats, although this time with an asterisk.

Chris Rock, Hollywood Moonbat* (possible mental retardation)

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