Riptide RULED!
(no it didn’t, it was awful)
Donald Trump takes on the Kerry Squad. Someone’s fired here, and I know it wasn’t Chimpy McFlightsuit. ;)
(TRUMP:) You. You’re quiet in all this. What do you have to say for yourself? Should you be fired for this loss?
MICHAEL MOORE: I don’t think so.
TRUMP: Why not? What did you contribute to the team?
MOORE: I wrote, directed, and starred in the highest-grossing documentary of all time, a film that bravely exposed the corruption and incompetence of the Bush Administration. I won the Palm d’Or at Cannes, I swept the balloting at the Golden Globes, I won the--
TRUMP: Can I ask you a question?
MOORE: Yes.
TRUMP: While you were winning all these awards, did you ever think to yourself, hey, maybe I should shave once in a while? Maybe, you know, tuck my shirt in? Maybe I could afford to drop a couple dozen pounds? Appearances count in business, Mike.
MOORE: I dress as what I am. I’m a proud son of blue collar parents, a lifetime resident of Flint, Michigan--
TRUMP: Mike, you live in one of my buildings. You pay me rent every month. I know, because you’re always trying to pay me in buffalo wings.
MOORE: But my primary residence--
TRUMP: Is a half mile away from my breathtaking Maya Largo estate in Palm Beach. We belong to the same country club. You practically live at the aromatherapy spa. So, you know, knock it off with the working class hero crap. And, quite frankly, working class doesn’t mean obese and unkempt.
(unsure; turns to Carolyn)
It doesn’t, does it?CAROLYN: It’s not required, no.
TRUMP: That’s what I thought. Because I know I see a lot of working class women that are in pretty damn good shape. Not as beautiful as my beautiful fiance Maritza, of course. But still-- they put themselves together pretty nice. I’d take a run at them, I’ll tell you that.
BLACKIE LAWLESS: I have a question for Mike, Mr. Trump.
TRUMP: Shoot.
BLACKIE LAWLESS: ARE YOU—READY—TO—ROOOOCKKKK?!!?
Go. Read. It’s funny.
Hat tip: Drumwaster
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