An Open Letter to God from Michael Moore

I just got this in my mailbox. It’s a “letter to God” from Michael Moore. If you thought what Moore said on the Olbermann show the other night was offensive… wait until you read this.

Now… I am fully aware that Michael Moore is attempting to get his name into the press again to garner more attention for himself and his new book. I’m sure he’s reveling in all the negative press he has received over the Olbermann incident and he’s trying to stoke the flames with this letter. He’s trying to be as offensive as he can be without crossing *too* many lines. So I shall offer you this letter without comment or commentary. I will not dignify Moore’s words with a response because they simply do not deserve one. But I will present them to you, the reader, so that you may form your own conclusions and opinions on your own.

An Open Letter to God, from Michael Moore

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Dear God,

The other night, the Rev. James Dobson’s ministry asked all believers to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance speech outdoors in Denver would have to be cancelled.

I see that You have answered Rev. Dobson’s prayers—except the storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention.

Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don’t blame You, I know You’re angry that the Republicans tried to blame YOU for Katrina by calling it an “Act of God”—when the truth was that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by humans, not You.

Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized—and I ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water, and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while Bush’s FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks later.

But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say, “There you go again!”

So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again while New Orleans drowns.

So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.

But now it appears that You haven’t been having just a little fun with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear, just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina because of America’s “wholesale slaughter of unborn children.” His sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.

So this is my plea to you: Don’t do this to Louisiana again. The Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that everyone can get out. They haven’t sent the entire Louisiana National Guard to Iraq this time—they are already patrolling the city streets. And, in a nod to I don’t know what, Bush’s head of FEMA has named a man to help manage the federal government’s response. His name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have sent a man with both my name AND W’s to help save the Gulf Coast.

So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It’s done enough damage already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke your name again. I’ll leave that to the followers of Rev. Dobson and to those gathering this week in St. Paul.

Your faithful servant and former seminarian,

Michael Moore
[email protected]
MichaelMoore.com

P.S. To all of God’s fellow children who are reading this, the city New Orleans has not yet recovered from Katrina. Please click here for a list of things you can do to help our brothers and sisters on the Gulf Coast. And, if you do live along the Gulf Coast, please take all necessary safety precautions immediately.

Mikey Luvs Hurricans

Egad:

Throughout the Bush Presidency, Mikey has wished for things to do got badly for America so that the Republicans will get blamed and unelected.  I have no doubt that Mike has blasted Religious Right zealots for claiming that Katrina was God’s vengeance for abortion, gay marriage and men’s speedos.  Let’s see if someone— anyone—on the Left blasts him for claiming that Gustav is God’s vengeance for Republicans.

[[Crickets Chirping]]

(H/T: West Virginia Rebel)

An American Carol

Mark your calendars people!  October 3, 2008 is the release date for a new film by the Zucker Brothers titled “An American Carol”.  It tells the comedic and completely hypothetical story of a character obviously modeled after Michael Moore (and played perfectly by Kevin Farley) who experiences an epiphany ala’ “A Christmas Carol” when he refuses to celebrate the Fourth of July and is visited by the ghosts of General George S. Patton, JFK, George Washington and finally Trace Adkins as the angel of death.  Of course Mikey makes no mention of the film on his site since he refuses to ever mention any film that he doesn’t actually profit from.  But I encourage everyone to go see it when it comes out.  From what I’ve seen on the video, it looks like Kevin Farley does a great job as Moore and I especially love the scene where he’s gets slapped by JFK, George Patton and Bill O’Reilly.

You can view the trailer here:
An American Carol Trailer