Moore Lectures Penn State Students on Film Technique

Somebody out there gets it.

Oscar-winner Michael Moore attracted 8,500 cheering fans last night to a lecture about documentary film technique at Penn State University. Most of Mr. Moore’s $30,000 speaking fee came from the university’s student activity fund, which cannot be used for partisan political causes.

“As we understand it, the speech was filled with shop-talk and technical jargon about filmmaking, since Mr. Moore is a prominent filmmaker,” said an unnamed spokesman for the university. “Penn State would never use $23,000 in student funds for an anti-Bush hate rally, for example. We’re delighted to see that so many of today’s college students are interested in camera angles, panning techniques and the other arcane subjects.”

In case your brain is made of lead, that was satire.  It came from Scrappleface, and while all the posts/stories at Scrappleface are sairical in nature, they all also have a point.  The point here is that Penn State couldn’t care less about their own rules, and pissed $23,000 away for a Kerry campaign rally.

Such is the state of the leftist university education in America today.  Free speech for me, but not for thee.  In this case “free” speech should be replaced with “University supported and student funded, some against their wants and wills, but screw you what are you going to do about it, proles” speech.

(Off Topic) It’s gettin’ ugly out there, let’s relax a little

OK, things are heating up and it’s getting nasty all over.  So, as suggested by foober, it’s time for a “something that unites us” post.

I’ll start.

Hot women.  I love looking at hot women.  I am not a dog, and I have a level of respect for my wife that I think is hard for anyone to imagine much less challenge, and she fully supports and assists me in looking at hot women.  I have a couple of “types,” and she keeps an eye out for them.  I look at it this way: if Mother Nature wanted my eyes pointed at the ground all the time, that’s where boobs and big, expressive eyes would be.  Instead, those two things are on...you guessed it, hot women.  Like a great car or a beautiful painting...I do so enjoy looking at a hot woman as a visual treat.  I’m extra lucky too, because I married a hot woman.  I know, I know, I am a god among fat lazy bastards.  You may worship me at a later time.  ;)

Ladies, do not feel left out.  You should also discuss the hot women in as catty or complimentary a tone as you like, and feel free to bring up some hot men if you so choose.

This is a purely physical thing.  Let’s be cheap whores!  Forget brains and individuality and all the other traits that come into play when you are serious...this is just being goofy and talking about raw hotness.  Who’s your top 2?  Who would you be tempted to rob a bank for if (s)he asked you to?

Mine are easy: Selma Hayek and Elizabeth Hurley.  Sweet lord those two were put on earth just for me to stare at.

And you?

The Political Machine

I crawled back out of my deathbed just to bring you this post, people.  This is hilarious.  There is a game put out by Ubisoft and Stardock called ”The Political Machine.” It’s a strategy game, basically an election simulation.  You run a campaign based on a candidate you invent, or a real president.  There are tons and tons of variables that can affect your campaign, not the least of which is this guy, found on the about page:

The Kook. This unit endorses you loudly and clearly but his crazy views change your rating on a random issue by a random amount (not necessarily good or bad, just not in your control).

That’s about right.  :)

As an aside, I have been a loyal customer of Stardock products for years (most of what they do is skinning applications and Windows itself) and would recommend them highly.  I just got a new desktop and one of the first things I did was install all my favorite Stardock apps.  I’ve even made a few skins myself.  If you ever wanted to make your computer look better and run a little faster, check ‘em out.  No, I don’t get anything for that plug.  I’m just a fan.

Shout-out to Brad Wardell for putting a smile on my face and to TribeHasSpoken for the link.

Reginold knows the deal

And while we’re pointing out Flash movies, I keep meaning to link this one.  Something like 50 or 60 people sent this link.  The guys at Zipperfish know how to cut right to the heart of the person they’re attacking, and they do it with humor, something our boy Mikey has forgotten how to use lately.

Michael Moore, you are a fucking moron (Flash with sound)

*fixed the URL.  Oops!  :)

Fat whining fatties whine about Moore being called fat

What a dumb news story. And oh look, we got a shout-out.

Or they came across the suggested slogan for the Web site moorewatch.com — “Michael Moore: Putting the vast in vast left-wing conspiracy.”

Ha!  See, it’s FUNNY, you dumbasses.  Ok, which one of you wrote that one?

The Republicans are “behaving exactly like the third-grade bullies who tormented me as a child,” says Marilyn Wann, author of the book “FAT!SO?” “Any time you invoke the f-word” — and here she means “fat,” not another f-word — “you’re using an incredibly powerful weapon.”

“They’re thinking this is going to hurt him more, this is going to hurt him as a person,” agrees Sandy Schaffer, New York chair of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.

There is nothing more ridiculous than NAAFA.  It’s a bunch of fat slobs crying because they’re fat instead of just losing weight.  Look, morons, *I* am a fat guy.  I don’t need to accept my fat, and I don’t want you trying to make others accept my fat.  I will deal with people who have a problem with my weight on my own.  I will deal with whatever issues being fat raises on my own.  I need you like I need another Big mac, you stupid fatheads.

Get it?  FATheads.  HA!  Oh, wait, did I trigger childhood abuse?  Oh, I’m so sorry.  GO GET SOME THERAPY, FATTY.  See a psychiatrist if you can’t handle your own life.  Lose weight if you can’t handle your fat.  Don’t cry to me or anyone else.  Moore obviously knows he’s going to be a target because of the low, cheap tricks, including namecalling, he pulls on his enemies.  He’s fair game, and you all know it.  So let’s stop whining about the fat thing.  I knwo what causes most of your fat asses to spread, and I know how you can fix it.  You can’t acuse me of being “fatist” because I AM a fat slob myself.  And thyroid/pituitary/big-boned excuses be damned.  99% of you can stop your problem by ceasing to stuff your fat faces.

Aww...we make Mikey sad when we mention his rapidly expanding horizons.  I feel so bad...as he calls Republicans murders and screams and spits into a microphone saying we eat hate for breakfast and wake up early to figure out what minority to oppress that day.

Kiss my fat white ass, NAAFA.  I am a fat man who doesn’t need you to make excuses for me.  Wait...maybe I do.  Can I start calling myself a Celluli-American and get special benefits from the government?  If so, then hooray NAAFA!  Get me some free money, bitches!

In celebration of the spread of Moore’s ass, I hereby declare this thread the official fat joke thread.  They don’t have to be about Moore...just make ‘em fat & funny!  Here’s some fat jokes to get us started:

Michael Moore is so fat when he falls, he rocks himself asleep trying to get up.

Michael Moore is so fat he wears cookie sheets for dog tags.

Michael Moore is so fat the last time he was in a swimming pool, explorers tried to claim him for Spain.

Michael Moore is so fat his biggest fear isn’t muggers, it’s poachers.

Thanks to Jeff for the link!

Update

“Liar!” “Liar!” Some flash you gotta see

”Moore Bush is always a good thing.” - Bill Clinton.

Just watch it.  You’ll see.  ;)

A little humor (and some marketing)

If you’ve seen the new Burger King commercials, you know about the Angus Diet.  You should explore the whacked-out site they made.  Too funny.

One feature they have are interventions.  YOu need the Flash player to see it.

Just go.  I made this one for Mikey.

David Koresh warned us about this

I hardly know if I should laugh or or to cry like a baby with severe diaper rash.

Bogost is anxious to see a political game achieve popular breakthrough status, just as Michael Moore’s anti-Bush Fahrenheit 9/11 did for film. In fact, Bogost said he has approached a game publisher with the idea to create a game based on the film--and he volunteered his own services as a game designer for the project. But while a Fahrenheit 9/11 of games has yet to come along, games with political content are nothing new.

Now, the whole article is worth a read if you’re interested in gaming, how popular culture affects our political makeup, or just some good old-fashioned manipulation.  But obviously I felt compelled to comment on the Moore angle here.

The phrash that comes to mind is “What the shit?” What’s the video game going to be?  Like Tapper, only you slide cakes into the waiting mouths of Moores at the end of the bar?  A FPS where you fire a BFLG (Big Fucking Lie Gun) while you attempt to assault the White House and take back the presidency?  An MMORPG where Moore is the entire universe and we all role-play inside him, and all the rules of law and civility are ass-backwards?  A turn-based strategy game where the more abusive and manipulative you are toward your staff, friends and people who are grieving, the more money you get and he who dies with the most wins?

Let’s hear your ideas.  What could they possibly do to make F911 a video game?

Thanks to TribeHasSpoken for the link.

Hate Mail Vol. 25

From: “Peter Florjan” ([email protected])
To: stark23x at gmail dot com
Subject:
Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2004 15:11:20 +0200

you fucking morons. are you really so scared of someone who tells the truth.
you are nothing but a bunch of idiotic republican iraq- baby killers.

Wow.  I can kill babies in Iraq from here in Connecticut?  ALL HAIL ME FOR I AM FAR-REACHING AND ALL POWERFUL.

I’m’a stop wasting my smoting powers on Iraqi babies and start smoting people who need smoting.  Like Linda Ronstadt, and John Ashcroft, Michael Savage, Al Franken...that little Stephallupagas fucker from the old Clinton days...Don Wildmon...I’m sure I can think of a few more given my near-limitless powers.

But guess who I am gonna smote first?

That’s right, Greg Brady.  Who’d you think I was going to say?

A little levity from Something Awful

This is great.  Something Awful did an anagrammed movies Photoshop contest.  Of course, some folks picked Moore as their subject.  You can see the results here.

Thanks to fazuul for the heads-up.

Moore is being manipulated

I’ve often wondered who was reeeealy pulling the strings of Michael Moore. Who is it that makes him act that way? Now I know.......................

I’ll be there for you

Dedicated from Mike to Saddam...To the tune of “The Friends Theme” by The Rembrandts

So no one told you dictatorship was gonna be this way. (clapclapclap)
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your country’s D.O.A.
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear,
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year,

I’ll be there for you!
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you!
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(’Cause you’re there for me too)

You’re still in jail at ten and your trial began at eight,
You’ve trimmed your beard so far, things are going great,
Dubya’s daddy warned you there’d be days like these,
But he didn’t tell when his son has brought you down to your knees.

I’ll be there for you!
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you!
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(’Cause you’re there for me too)

Book winner number one!

The first winner of a free copy of ”Michael Moore Is A Big Fat Stupid White Man” is...drumroll please…

djhojo!

On 07/12 at 11:00 PM, djhojo posted the message that literally brought us to a grinding halt while we laughed until I actually was afraid I was gonna wet myself.

djhojo has a few gems that will make rotation, but this is the Golden Child.  Congrats djhojo, now just send me an e-mail with your mailing address and I’ll get the book out to you ASAP.

More winners later!

Mikey Goes to Hell

Win a copy of Michael Moore Is A Big Fat Stupid White Man

See inside for details.

*Update: When this reaches 500 comments, I’m cutting it off.

Two In The Bush

Somewhere in an exclusive $1.9 million Manhattan apartment, Michael Moore is formulating yet another conspiracy theory.  Pat O’Brien is leaving Access Hollywood to start a new news show for Paramount.  And who will replace him?

Billy Bush, the East Coast correspondent for “Access Hollywood,” will join Nancy O’Dell as co-anchor starting Aug. 12 from the Summer Olympics, executive director Rob Silverstein said Friday.

“Nancy and Billy are unequivocally Hollywood’s ultimate insiders,” Silverstein said in a statement. “The team is set, production is ready, summer ratings are spiking, let’s get it on.”

Bush, 32, has been with “Access Hollywood” for nearly three years. His father, Jonathan, is the brother of former President George H.W. Bush.

Surely the Saudis, the Carlyle Group, and “Daddy’s friends” on the Supreme Court have to have a hand in this.  There has to be a conspiracy, there just has to!

Royale With Cheese

When Fahrenheit 9/11 is shown in France, do they need to translate the title into metric?

Someone tried to call my bluff

I have always said that as a capitalist, I will take your money, right or left.  Somebody out there clearly thinks I was bluffing.  If you happen to notice the new ad about electing Kerry...well, I say click on it and give them the traffic.  They paid like anyone else.  And a large portion of MOOREWATCH’s audience are people that would want to participate in ACT events.

Enjoy.

A Ticket for Bush

Spider-Man 2 Conspires to Silence Michael Moore
by Scott Ott

(2004-06-30)—Spider-Man 2 is part of “a web of deception, a conspiracy to silence” Oscar-winning documentarist Michael Moore, according to the filmmaker whose Fahrenheit 9/11 is America’s current number one box office smash.

“It’s not just the cynical timing of the release of Spider-Man 2,” said Mr. Moore, “but the movie endorses the unilateral and so-called righteous use of power to overcome so-called evil. This is a thinly-veiled rebuttal of Fahrenheit 9/11 and the entire security plank of the Democrat National Committee platform.”

Mr. Moore added that buying a ticket to Spider-Man 2 is “tantamount to voting for George Bush.”

Top Ten

Top 10 George W. Bush Complaints About “Fahrenheit 9/11”

10. That actor who played the president was totally unconvincing.

9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election.

8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words

7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported.

6. Didn’t have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger.

5. Of all Michael Moore’s accusations, only 97% are true.

4. Not sure - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe.

3. Where the hell was Spiderman?

2. Couldn’t hear most of the movie over Cheney’s foul mouth.

1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball!”